One effective way to encourage good behaviour in children is to always say clearly what you want them to do rather than the things you don’t want them to do. Instead of telling them what not to do, teach and show them what they should do. It’s always more powerful and influential to say what you want rather than what you don’t want.
Then avoid saying the words ‘No’ and ‘Don’t’ too often. A study once showed that the average child hears the words ‘No’ or ‘Don’t’ over 148,000 times while growing up, compared with a few thousand ‘Yes’ messages. Although, you may need to use those firm words at times, it is important not to make it a regular habit.
Here are a few examples –
instead of ”Don’t jump on the chair”, Say ”I want you to sit quietly on the chair”
instead of “No running” Say, “Walk, please”
instead of “Shut Up” Say, “Would you keep quiet please”
instead of “Don’t argue with me” Say, “I know you want to say something to me but I need you to listen to me first”
instead of “No shouting” Say, “Talk quietly, please”
Rephrasing your sentences from the negative to the positive will take some time and energy to get used to but it can be done.