The tone with which you speak to your children is just as important as the words you speak to them. The tone of your voice is a powerful tool, use it to promote love and warmth in your home.
When talking (especially when correcting) children, it is important to put some thought to your tone. The tone of your voice can either make or break the content of the message you are trying to pass across to them.
I have learned that even when my intention and words are right, if my tone is wrong – the message I’m trying to pass to my children would be lost.
The tone of your speaking voice is a powerful tool. When talking to your children, take a minute to reflect on your tone. It’s not just the words you say – it’s HOW you say them that matters.
Let the tone of your voice always reflect the love and respect you have for the people around you. Simply paying extra attention and working on your tone, can very quickly change the energy, atmosphere and attitudes in your home.
Here are four simple tips for working on a more gentle and positive tone –
1. Smile when you talk
Smiling affects how we speak, it softens your tone and changes the sound of the words ever so slightly. Over the years, studies have shown that a smiling tone is so powerful, it can even be detected over a phone conversation.
2. Talk less
So many times children tune out when you say too much. You may think you are making it clearer and better by talking more, but the opposite is actually true. It is important that you learn how to clearly state things in few and concise words.
3. Take a deep breath
Before you lose your cool and go into the ‘mummy-rant mode’ with your children, Take a step back and a deep breath. When angry with your children, always choose your words carefully. Any harsh words spoken in such moments may wound for a lifetime. If you feel like you are about to explode, leave the room and find a quiet place to calm down before returning to address the issue. It may be hard, but the truth is your children need your words to be positive, life-giving and affirming, even in discipline.
4. Turn down the volume
Whenever you need to speak to your children and spouse in another room, make an effort to go over to them and speak face to face. Shouting across the next room to one another is not an attractive way of communicating to your loved ones. Make it a habit in your home never to shout across rooms to one another. Don’t do it to your children and spouse and don’t let them shout to you from the other room either (except of course, in the case of an emergency when you need to cry out loud for help). When a message needs to be passed, make sure to go to them physically when possible and ensure they do the same to you. It is a great way to build respect and a positive tone around the house.